New York, Gender, and Existentialism
What are we? What are we here for? What's it all about, anyway, this life? These are some of the answerless questions that an existentialist might ponder. The state of New York has recently concluded that because these questions have no answers, we are, essentially, whatever we wish to be. The definitions that we've grown up with are simply words meant to constrict our creativity. In an effort to right this wrong, the city has veered sharply to the left. In the most amazing and surreal press release I've ever laid my eyes on, the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has given notice of the intention to separate anatomy from gender.
Press Release
So in New York if you were born with male parts and decide to keep those male parts for your entire life, but deep down you know that you're actually a girl, just say the word and !bZam!, you're a girl. No pipe work needed.
The possibilities of such an arrangement are endless. How cool would it be for the next President of the United States, if he was born in New York, to suddenly become a woman?! With a simple affirmative nod, he would painlessly turn into the first female president.
And the Women's NBA team from New York could dominate the world, because the entire team could be made up of former men who conveniently pressed the "make me a woman" button.
As for me, I'm taking this to the next level. Once this mental barrier is removed, my mind will be free to take any form at all. My first official action will be to turn myself into a 14th century asexual French Goldfish.
Oh yeah, for all of you white guys out there, upset that you can't enjoy any of that affirmative action...If I were you, I would just turn yourself into a black woman to enjoy the benefits. No worries...no surgery required.
What are we? What are we here for? What's it all about, anyway, this life? These are some of the answerless questions that an existentialist might ponder. The state of New York has recently concluded that because these questions have no answers, we are, essentially, whatever we wish to be. The definitions that we've grown up with are simply words meant to constrict our creativity. In an effort to right this wrong, the city has veered sharply to the left. In the most amazing and surreal press release I've ever laid my eyes on, the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has given notice of the intention to separate anatomy from gender.
Press Release
So in New York if you were born with male parts and decide to keep those male parts for your entire life, but deep down you know that you're actually a girl, just say the word and !bZam!, you're a girl. No pipe work needed.
The possibilities of such an arrangement are endless. How cool would it be for the next President of the United States, if he was born in New York, to suddenly become a woman?! With a simple affirmative nod, he would painlessly turn into the first female president.
And the Women's NBA team from New York could dominate the world, because the entire team could be made up of former men who conveniently pressed the "make me a woman" button.
As for me, I'm taking this to the next level. Once this mental barrier is removed, my mind will be free to take any form at all. My first official action will be to turn myself into a 14th century asexual French Goldfish.
Oh yeah, for all of you white guys out there, upset that you can't enjoy any of that affirmative action...If I were you, I would just turn yourself into a black woman to enjoy the benefits. No worries...no surgery required.
posted by Black the Vote! at 10:09 AM
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